The Release Podcast

Frederic Luskin, Director of Stanford's 'Forgiveness Project,' and Author of 'Forgive For Good'

Forgiving someone who apologizes and changes their behavior is one thing. Or forgiving someone you can remove from your life. But how do you forgive someone who keeps hurting you?As the Director of Stanford University’s Forgiveness Project, and Author of Forgive for Good, Frederic Luskin has dedicated himself to answering these questions. Frederic has his Phd, is the Department Chair for Clinical Psych at Sofia University, and is one of the world’s leading researchers and speakers on the topic of forgiveness. He came by the topic honestly, as you’ll hear on today’s podcast, when he puzzled through difficult relationship situations with a friend, as well as with his mother in law. It was Fred’s wife who gets the credit for ultimately waking him up to how his own unforgiveness was a choice. 
On today’s episode we define forgiveness, identify how we know when we have forgiven…and look at the 9 stages of forgiveness which Fred identifies. Nobody wants to hold on to the stress of the past. Nobody wants to admit they are unforgiving of others, or of themselves. But according to Fred, we are all to blame for how refusing to forgive hurts us. And in every single moment of our lives, if we can accept what forgiveness really means about accepting reality…we have the power to be free.

Carlos Andres Gomez, Author of MAN UP, Student of Modern Masculinity

What is the correct way to do modern masculinity…and how can we teach our sons to get it right?
CARLOS ANDRÉS GÓMEZ is the author of the memoir Man Up: Reimagining Modern Manhood. On today’s episode we talk about why the phrase toxic masculinity is so triggering, how to guide our sons towards healthy masculinity without overcorrecting…and how loneliness could be the root of most of humanity’s problems.

Julia Hotz, Author of THE CONNECTION CURE: The Prescriptive Power of Movement, Nature, Art, Service, and Belonging

Julia Hotz, Author of THE CONNECTION CURE: The Prescriptive Power of Movement, Nature, Art, Service, and Belonging
How over-medicated are we? How much of what ails us could be healed by going back to the ways we evolved to live?

Julia Hotz is the author of a book looking to answer questions like these. "The Connection Cure: The Prescriptive Power of Movement, Nature, Art, Service, and Belonging" is the very first book to make the case for social prescribing.
Hotz is a solutions focused journalist whose stories have appeared in The New York Times, WIRED, Scientific American, The Boston Globe, Time, and more. In The Connection Cure, she presents the history of how we came to rely on medical intervention for mental health challenges in the first place, and outlines how we are neglecting ourselves deeper into unrest nearly every day. Without discounting the validity of pharmaceutical medicine in some cases, she is making a case for a much more complete picture of what the cure for our collectively rising anxiety and depression might actually look like, and how much of it we may actually be able to control. On today’s episode we are talking about the origins of SSRIs, the definition of social prescribing, and the perils of isolation, in all its forms. From directed attention fatigue to quiet fascination, Hotz is full of suggestions for how we can better manage our minds, with and without medication. To hear her tell it…there may just be hope for all of us…yet.
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Mark Bowden, Voted The World’s #1 Body Language Expert, on The Presidential Election

How many repetitions of a targeted new body language gesture does it take to win over a swing voter?
Mark Bowden has been voted the #1 Body Language Professional in the world. Born in England and building off an early career as an actor on screen and stage, Mark pioneered nonverbal analysis of human behaviors intended to persuade. His techniques are trusted by business leaders, Fortune 500 companies, politicians, and G7 prime ministers, as well as the millions who have watched his TEDx talk, his Youtube Channel, his media commentary and his appearances with Dr Phil, or read his bestselling books including Winning Body Language, Tame the Primitive Brain, or TRUTH & LIES: What People are Really Thinking.
On today’s podcast we’re talking about body language in the election, and in particular with regards to winning over so-called swing voters. How can Kamala Harris set her self up for success? And what misperceptions specifically is she trying to outrun? Similarly for Trump, what’s the best strategy for winning over swing voters who might be won over…as long as they’re not subconsciously turned off?

What is the impact of voice register on voters when coming from a woman versus a man?
How powerful can a candidate’s hand gestures really be? What was Mark’s impression of Trump’s body language following the assassination attempt? And how many repetitions of a carefully constructed new gesture does it take to change a voter’s perception?


Listen to the end for insight into how Mark manages to win over thousands of people at once while giving his keynotes…because their results, and his business, depend on it.

Pete Earley, Pulitzer Finalist and Author of NO HUMAN CONTACT: Based on personal access to Terrible Tom Silverstein (the most isolated prisoner in US ...

Pete Earley is a Pulitzer-finalist, a mental health advocate, a Washington Post journalist turned bestselling author of 15 books including Family of Spies (inside the John walker spy ring), The Hot House (Life inside Leavenworth prison), and Crazy (A father’s search through americas mental health madness). Earley also wrote a series of novels including Duplicity, Treason, and Vengeance along with Newt Gingrich.
Diagnosed earlier this year with stage 4 cancer, Earley has become a little philosophical about “whether being with each other is what makes us human”, among other things.
Early's latest and accordion to him, final book, is NO HUMAN CONTACT: SOLITARY CONFINEMENT, MAXIMUM SECURITY AND TWO INMATES WHO CHANGED THE SYSTEM. The book was based on the rare access Earlery was granted to notorious inmate Terrible Tom Silverstein. Silverstein was convicted of armed robbery among other things and sentenced to life, rose to become a leader of the Aryan Brotherhood prison gang, and then brutally murdered a CO, stabbing him 40 times inside of a federal prison. Convinced that he and another inmate who’d killed a CO on the same day were beyond redemption….the bureau of prisons sentenced Sivlerstein to NO HUMAN CONTACT, which began his stay as the most isolated prisoner in US history. No TV, no magazines, no letters, no phone calls, no window, no hot water, no paper, no pencils, and no darkness to indicate whether it was day or night. Inside of a cell as wide as a king-sized bed, where Silverstein would touch the ceiling. Pete Earley was the only journalist ever granted personal access to Terrible Tom, and the two developed a friendship which lasted for three decades. That kind of experience could draw the philosopher out of any man.
On today’s podcast we dig in to the motivations of a journalist, the heart of a murderer, and the nature of humanity. Without ever excusing his actions….Peter and I talk about how Silversteins childhood might have trained the humanity out of him, and whether Earley thinks he ever had a chance at functioning in society at all. The through line in Earley’s work is that he wants to see how other people live, and that has flowed from his work with inmates through his battle to support his bipolar son, to his insights into America’s homeless. Together we consider whether it is the need to connect that is most core to the human condition…or whether it is the need to believe we can be seen.
The most surprising part of our interview is not that Early spoke with a mass murderer who reached the same conclusion about love as the late great Elie Weisel. The most surprising part of our interview, for me…is how easy it was to believe that Terrible Tom Silverstein…leader of the Aryan Brotherhood…famed murderer…lifelong criminal…and America’s most isolated prisoner….could turn into a divorce counselor for his visitor, biographer…and eventual friend…Pete Early.
You’ve really gotta read NO HUMAN CONTACT.

Mark Bowden, Voted The World’s #1 Body Language Expert, on Relationships

How does the world's #1 body language expert use what he knows in his own marriage?
Mark Bowden has been voted the #1 Body Language Professional in the world. Born in England and building off an early career as an actor on screen and stage, Mark pioneered nonverbal analysis of human behaviors intended to persuade. His techniques are trusted by business leaders, Fortune 500 companies, politicians, and G7 prime ministers, as well as the millions who have watched his TEDx talk, his Youtube Channel, his media commentary and his appearances with Dr Phil, or read his bestselling books including Winning Body Language, Tame the Primitive Brain, or TRUTH & LIES: What People are Really Thinking.
On todays podcast we’re talking about body language in relationships. Does being a body language expert mean that his marriage is all smooth sailing? Not quite. But we start with body language in courtship, talking about dating rituals, the signals we send, and why the prospect of rejection can legitimately feel like death for a man. Mark explains how to identify the baseline behavior of a potential partner, why eye contact confuses the heck out of everyone, and whether so called cheap signals will become less relevant over time.
Mark has theories on how the evolution of marriages can be tracked using body language from unabashed mirroring, to lip curling disdain…and how that part might just be the beginning of the actual start of the increasingly elusive…long-term marriage. It’s all in the body.

Robert MacCoun, Stanford Law Professor, Social Psychologist & Coauthor: THIRD MILLENNIUM THINKING

How can we stop fooling ourselves into seeing only what we want to see?
Robert MacCoun is a Stanford Law Professor, a Social Psychologist and the Coauthor of THIRD MILLENNIUM THINKING: CREATING SENSE IN A WORLD OF NONSENSE.
Based on a wildly popular UC Berkeley course, the book explores how to use scientists’ tricks of the trade to make the best decisions and solve the hardest problems in age of uncertainty and overwhelming information.
In the book, a physicist, a psychologist, and a philosopher introduce readers to the tools and frameworks that scientists have developed to keep from fooling themselves. On this podcast, we talk with Rob about when society stopped agreeing on how to have a healthy public discourse, and how to build trust among seeming adversaries to start to reignite those healthy conversations. We dig in to confirmation bias, scientific optimism and the importance of healthy skepticism. We talk about research, public policy, and how we keep eroding our own credibility with almost every single statement that we make. The goal of today’s conversation is to find ways to get better at staying open-minded. Because unless we can find a way back to the practice of disagreeing without losing sight of the goal of finding common ground…in light of the high likelihood of another pandemic (and the ongoing need for open discourse on public policies that affect us all) we might just be doomed.
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Robin Hanson, Professor & Author of ”The Elephant In The Brain: Hidden Motives In Everyday Life”

Why are we all such liars ,and what does it say about us as a species that we are able to lie to ourselves so well?
Robin Hanson is an associate professor of economics at George Mason University and the coauthor along with Kevin Simler of THE ELEPHANT IN THE BRAIN: HIDDEN MOTIVES IN EVERYDAY LIFE.
He’s a former research associate at the Future of Humanity Institute of Oxford University, and is known for his work on idea futures and markets, and was involved in the creation of DARPA's FutureMAP project. Among other accolades, he has conducted extensive research on signaling, and proposed the Great Filter Hypothesis regarding extraterrestrial life.
His book, THE ELEPHANT IN THE BRAIN, explores the mental blind spots of society and of individuals, with a focus on the ways that we are all unaware of our own motives, thanks to how our brains evolved to trick us.
On today’s podcast, we talk about how he applies the lessons of hidden motives to his own social awkwardness, and how we can all become more aware of our own blind spots. We look at evolutionary psychology and discuss the so-called split-brain experiments for context before digging in to our baser motives for self-deception in politics and religion. Hanson explains the role of the press secretary in the white house…as well as the one in the human brain. Turns out we are a lot more political in our everyday lives than we’d care to admit. The questions are How can we stay aware of our own Hidden Motives, and does it serve us to spend any energy doing that? How can we hold people accountable for their actions if even they aren’t wholly aware of their own motives? And what would the world look like if everyone’s motives were laid bare…perhaps for example through cutting edge AI technology. Hanson also happens to be a futurist, so he has cause for his predictions. And you won’t want to miss them, regardless of the motives you tell yourself are driving you to tune in.
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Craig Hatkoff, Real Estate Pioneer, Innovation Expert & CoFounder Of The Tribeca Film Festival

Craig Hatkoff is a real estate investor who pioneered the concept of asset securitization back in the 1990s at Chemical Bank, and then became Vice Chairman of Capital Trust which he cofounded alongside the legendary billionaire Sam Zell. He is also a board member for more than 15 private and public companies as varied as Colony Capital, SL Green, the Desmond Tutu Peace Foundation and even the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. A some time Columbia professor on the topic of Disruptive Innovation, he worked closely with the famed late HBS luminary Clayton Christensen and eventually also cofounded the Disruptor Awards. Along the way he found some time to launch a media company and become a bestselling author of children’s books, alongside his two daughters. But what Craig is most popularly known for is his role as a cofounder, alongside Robert DeNiro and Jane Rosenthal, of the Tribeca Film Festival. And it wasn’t started for the reasons you think.
Versatile doesn’t begin to describe Craig. There are so many adjectives.On today’s podcast, we start off with the lightbulb moment of his youth, when he was almost but not quite fired from a finance job out of business school…and whether it was cluelessness or arrogance that got him there. We talk about the time when has was one of Donald Trump’s bankers, the guitar collection that reminds him of the path not taken, and the way he thinks today, about religion. Turns out that’s ripe for disruption, too.
Listen to the end for the lightning round, where Craig reveals what he would be doing, had he not stumbled onto business school somehow, all those decades ago. It’s not what you’d think, and on some level, aren’t we all still who we were back in the seventh grade?
#tribecafilmfestival #claytonchristensen #disruptiveinnovation #slgreen #disney #shareholder #boardmember #innovation #religion #robertdeniro #podcast #banking #realestate #securitiesandexchangecommission

Julie Menanno, Renowned Marriage Therapist and Bestselling Author of SECURE LOVE (Part 2)

Julie Menanno is a licensed marriage and family therapist, a leading voice on attachment styles with over 1.2 million instagram followers and the bestselling author of "SECURE LOVE: Create a relationship that lasts a lifetime." She earned her Master’s degree in Psychology from Phillips Graduate Institute in LA, and has a clinical therapy practice in Bozeman, Montana, using Emotionally Focused Therapy known as EFT, for couples working on attachment issues within relationships. Julie is also a wife of 24 years and a mom to six kids and one dog.
On episode two of this two-part podcast, we get to know Julie a lot better, partly with the help of her husband, who joins as a surprise call-in guest! We talk through how her evangelical childhood impacted her career choice, what being a boy-mom can teach us about romantic relationships, and why a midlife romantic post-mortem is so very important.
My grand conclusion is that she was in fact born to do this work, and destined to outline in her unique way what it takes to create SECURE LOVE. By the end of our talk, I’m pretty sure I officially won at podcasting, because according to Julie, who is renowned by millions of followers for her own insights on love…I made HER feel seen.
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